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This is for Jet — this is for his memories ….

Written last May 11, 2013:

Today I am grieving. I lost one of my kids … a young boy with his entire life fully ahead of him and I still don’t understand why. I need to write this in order to come to terms with everything that happened. I don’t understand … why is he gone? Why is this brilliant young man nothing more but a memory now? And my heart is breaking with his memories.

Jet … his name reminds me of freedom, of flying. And maybe his name was his undoing …. I can see him spreading his arms out to fly, looking up at the blue summer sky and touching heaven as he fell down to meet earth’s embrace. And I would like to think that it was an embrace, that the ground rose up to cradle him and hold him gently as he fell, because I want to think that he went to sleep painlessly. I also want to think that he is okay now, that he is happy and that all his fears and sadness are gone. Let the living face the grief, but may he know only peace and love — because Jet deserves that. He was a good boy and he had the sweetest disposition and the most heartwarming smile. And I pray that by God’s infinite mercy, that smile is making heaven a brighter place now, and he is somewhere out there disturbing the tranquility of paradise with his K-pop songs …. I will miss him … but even though I still can’t understand why — he will always be one of my babies.

Jet, God speed. We love you ….

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