I was thinking about Ceasar for quite some time now. I wonder how he felt when Brutus stabbed him? I wonder what he was thinking when he fell down at the cold, unmerciful hand of a man he considered a friend? I couldn’t help but ponder on these dark thoughts after seeing someone I love fall to this same kind of treachery.
As my friend told me the tragedy which befell him, I saw how tired and broken he looked. I patiently listed to him and I gleaned from his story that the very same people he trusted had betrayed him and pounced on him like a pack of hungry savage wolves. These people he protected and defended so many times in the past, just suddenly, for their own personal interests, struck him with the fatal blow without any hesistation at all.
My friend was devastated and when we talked last he told me that maybe these people did not realize the effect their actions would have on his family and on his life. I shook my head silently because I believed otherwise. I am convinced that they knew exactly what they were doing, but they did it, because they did not care and they felt no remorse and because some men, as Alfred in Batman once said, just want to watch the world burn.
I felt rage boiling within me like white acid flames, spilling out from the very core of my being — and it was at that point that I felt acutely human …. I vainly struggled to drown out the anger and to remember that perhaps, just like those people, I myself have committed things in the past which hurt others. If only I had the patience and inexhaustible mercy of God …. If only I was beyond human pettiness …. but then, that’s the rub isn’t it? I am human and as such I do succumb to these human shortcomings, and because of that, I would never look at those people the same way again, and I’m hoping that the law of karma is indeed true. Ah good Lord, please forgive me ….